Flaming Fool

Theres always been those people who are supposedly really attractive, but just take bad pictures. Yeah that makes sense, the technology that was created to capture a moment in time is against you Linda, and you’re secretly a super model. But when that camera comes out you turn into a goblin. I hate to break it to you.. you’re ugly.

There’s definitely something to be said for the ultra dedicated student who never misses a class, and who works really hard on every assignment, and that something is “what the fuck man? stop making me look bad”

Dear creators of the one second needle,
I don’t know too many people who are so unable to thread a needle that they would need to buy this specific device. I feel like there probably should have been a meeting about how small your audience is.. but that’s a totally irrelevant remark because at this point, it’s pretty obvious that you don’t have a great business plan. I’m going to skip the lecture you should get for making your product seem so exciting, when in reality it’s just fucking sewing, and I’m going to jump right into my two main points. 1: Let’s be honest, if I have such a ridiculously hard time threading needles one of two things is occurring: I am either drunk, blind or disoriented to the point where I really shouldn’t be sewing anyways.
OR
2: I am too stupid for my own good, and not only should I really not be sewing, I probably wouldn’t understand your product’s super complicated pronged “catch the thread” device.
Do you see what I’m saying?
Your audience shouldn’t be sewing. Let’s face it, there’s a lot of really drunk grandmothers out there sewing their 19 year old grand daughters sweaters when they really shouldn’t be. Don’t play into that One Second Needle company. You’re better than that.
or maybe you’re not.

People always compare me to Zach Galifinakis… So I decided to shave my beard.